“‘My greatest strengths are adaptability, communication, and technical comprehension. I can offer expertise specific to this field and look forward to helping find solutions as problems arise. I’m perfect for this position because I have the skills, experience, and drive to deliver results from day one.’ Whoot!”
She pumps her fists, jumping up and down from her power pose. “This is gonna be great. This is gonna go great! They’re gonna love me and hire me on the spot. We’re gonna jive so well someone’ll mistake us for BFFs. Yeah!” Tossing out one final power pose, she snags her blazer and tosses it about her shoulders, striding out the door.
Leaving her hotel, she joins the crowd on the sidewalk proper. Navigating down the block, her eager expression starts to fade as she weaves through the thick throngs of people. “Excuse me, pardon me, sorry about that…” After several minutes of fighting the reverse direction of the tide of fish, she ducks under the awning of a skyscraper, sighing herself into a smile as she looks up at the sign.
Corporate, Inc.
Nodding to herself, she steps toward the door, reaching out her hand and opening it to walk through. Sliding her hands down her blazer, she grins broadly as she slowly turns her gaze from left to right, taking in the scene. She breathes deeply as she notes the people-barren, flavor-bereft scene before her. She nods, thinking quietly aloud, “They probably save all the decor for their offices. They don’t want to put anyone off too quickly; that’d be bad for business. That’s it.” Again nodding reassurances to herself, she breathes deeply and marches on.
Reaching the security station, she waves a friendly greeting. “Hello, sir. How are you today?”
“Name,” he says without looking up from the camera feeds.
“Oh, haha, right. Why, I’m Jane Smith, here for my interview for the corporate department of Corporate, Inc.” She laughs quietly, leaning on the security station wall.
“Jane Smith.”
She smiles broadly. “That’s right. And you are?”
He flips through papers attached to a clipboard. On the third-to-top page, he strikes out her name. Her eyebrows jolt, jaw dropping. “Take the elevator to the eighty-seventh floor; take a right; sit in the chairs; wait to be called.”
Swallowing hard, she nods her receipt of the instructions. “Oh. Yes. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Uh…” She steps back from the security station, again waving, big smile plastered on her face. “Have a great day, sir.”
Quickly strolling through the lobby to the elevators, she holds her hands together at her waist. Upon reaching the elevators, she pushes a button, then rolls back on her heels to wait patiently. Eyes darting about, she sees nobody; nervously, she starts to rock back and forth, puckering her lips, then inverting them, and humming.
But she can’t place the tune she’s humming; it’s just there. After several minutes of repeating the same few measures of music, she slows her hum awkwardly, picking it apart to analyze it piece by piece. Swallowing the music entirely, she bites her lips together.
The elevator dings.
“Oh,” she reclaims a grin, climbing on board as the doors open, spinning around to face the front and pressing the button for the eighty-seventh floor.
Someone else joins her in the elevator car, pressing another floor’s button.
“Oh, hello.”
The new occupant turns to her, looks her up and down, then exits the car.
She visibly deflates as the elevator doors close.
Riding up in silence but for the quiet dinging of the floor announcements, she swallows hard, yanking herself back into her interview mentality. You got this. They’re gonna love you. Chin up, buckaroo; they’re lucky you’re here!
The elevator stops at floor fifty-three, doors opening. She peers out. Nobody. The entire floor looks empty. Not a good feeling. The doors close, and the ride continues. After what felt like forever of torturous silence, the elevator finally slows to a stop on the eighty-seventh floor.
With a determined huff, she steps out onto the floor, takes a right, and sits in an empty chair. Pulling on a friendly smile, she turns to the candidate next to her. “Hello.”
The candidate looks at her, then turns away.
“Okay then.” She sits, hands on her knees, back straight. After several minutes, she starts to rock back and forth slowly. Hi, I’m Jane Smith. It is so nice to meet you! … Have I told you what I admire about Corporate, Incorporated yet? … My greatest strengths are adaptability…
They wait. Then she waits. Then her name is called, she pulls on her most winningest smile, and she goes in.
After about half an hour, she comes out, plodding to the elevator.
Face flat, she even finds blinking difficult and uneasy. She slowly punches the elevator button, then waits for the car silently. She doesn’t even pay attention to how long it takes to arrive. Stepping in, she finds herself elbow-to-elbow with several people, their only commonality being the direction which they are riding the elevator in. She taps the button for the main lobby, then shifts back toward the back of the car.
Then, it hits her.
She turns back toward the front, slowly pushing herself to stand in front of the buttons. Just as the elevator doors start to close, a big grin plasters itself on her face, and she flails, hitting numerous elevator buttons. As the other passengers in the car gasp and reach toward her, she giggles mercilessly, yet joyfully.
