Just a Little Heroing

Tommy needs his mommy!”

Every day. He’d had a rough time on the bus ride four years ago when his family had first moved to this town. He’d never had to ride the bus before, let alone be stuck on one for over an hour before classes even started. It was middle school, and so much was different about this place than the last place he’d called home, but not even moving up to merge the various districts into this high school seemed to allow him to leave that one incident behind. Four years and every single day he still had to listen to that line.

Closing his locker, Tommy taps his forehead against it. Another year, another chance to learn patience. That’s what his mother keeps reminding him. He keeps trying to see it as an opportunity for growth, but the only thing that grows is his frustration with the repetition. It wouldn’t be so bad if they at least made up some new material every once in a while, but these bullies don’t even bother with that.

He can’t help but miss his old life, his old school, his old friends. He still keeps in touch with them, but it’s not the same, and not just because of the many miles now separating them. So much had changed the day of the accident. There was just so much they couldn’t understand.

Tommy looks like he’s gonna cry. Wah!” Looking up, he finds someone making big sobbing hands gestures with a goofily awkward whiney face. “Someone call his mommy!”

Watching them waltz away as the bell rings, Tommy shakes his head slowly, grabbing his bag off the floor and spinning away roughly to get to class before the attendance is taken.

“Ooof!”

“Oh, I am so, so sorry!”

He immediately drops and grabs the book and pencil she dropped, handing them to her without looking at her, swallowing hard.

“You’re a freshman, right?”

His eyes dart up. “Yes, and I am so, so sorry-“

“Hey,” she laughs, “it’s okay. The book is fine, and it’s the first day, so they’re not going to be bears about making it to class on time because people are still figuring out where to go.”

Blinking, he starts to actually see her. Is she smiling at him? No… “S-sorry for running into you.” He backs up two paces, extending the book toward her and dropping his eyes, waiting for her to take it.

After a few moments of silence and her not taking her book back, he looks up. Her arms are rolled around as she checks her elbows, then she looks over her sides, spinning to try to see her back. “Hmm. Nope, I still can’t find any damage.”

“I…”

Looking up at him, her eyes twinkle. “You’re fine, freshman. It’ll be okay.” She chuckles. “We’ve all been there before. Here,” she takes her book, also taking the opportunity to come close to him. She’s radiating … warmth … “I’ll even walk you to class. Where are you headed?”

“Chemistry.”

“Oh, chem! What fun! And for a freshman,” she grabs his bag with her spare hand and passes it to him, “you must be pretty smart to be taking chem as a freshmen. This way,” she nods down the hall, leading them off. “The teacher is fabulous; we all get Mr. Knowles at some point, and that man has a quirky sense of humor, so be prepared for some funky fun.”

“You really don’t have to show me the way. I know where it is.”

She smiles playfully. “Oh, you do? But I certainly want to make sure my new freshman friend gets where he needs to go.”

“Oh, okay… Thank – thank you.”

“Absolutely. I didn’t catch your name. What is it?”

His eyes fall. “Tommy.”

She pauses him with a light tap on his arm. “Tommy as in Thomas?”

He swallows. “Yeah, but everybody calls me Tommy.”

A grin spreads over her face, eyes glittering. “May I call you Thomas?”

Enraptured by her glow, he simply nods.

“Perfect!” She nods them forward. “Nice to meet you, Thomas. You may call me Anastasia, Ana for short, but the full name will garner the desired effect.”

“What effect?”

She winks at him. “Just be sure to thank me by name when I leave your classroom. Okay?”

Eyebrows furrowed, he nods.

“Good. Here we are. I’ll knock and introduce you.”

Clearing her throat, she knocks on the classroom door. A chair scuffs against the floor, and a few moments later, an upperclassman opens it, peering out.

“Hi. What’re you doing here?”

“Dropping off a student. May I pop my head in to say hello?”

He opens the door wide, waving his hand toward the front. “Just close the door on your way out, Ana.”

“Thanks, Adam.”

She waves Tommy forward, stepping inside herself. Tommy finds a mix of students – freshmen and upperclassmen alike – and his eyes fix on the one from the hallway earlier wagging his hands in his face; even now, he smirks darkly, mouthing crying noises.

“Mr. Knowles! I borrowed one of your pupils for a moment; I hope you can forgive me.” His eyes jolt back to her.

“Ana! What a pleasant surprise!”

“For me as well; any excuse to come say hello. I want to introduce you to my friend Thomas before I get out of your hair. Mr. Knowles, meet Thomas, a fantastic freshman I am so lucky to have stumbled across. And Thomas,” she waves him forward, “meet Mr. Knowles, the wittiest person to ever grace these grounds, not to mention one awesome soccer player.”

“You know I only ref now, Ana.”

“He’s a secret soccer-playing vigilante,” she stage whispers to Thomas. “His cover is that he quit playing, but he’s still a pro.”

Mr. Knowles laughs good-naturedly, shaking his head at her. “Thank you, Ana. You should come visit when you have time to share your wisdom with my class.”

She daintily clutches her heart. “You flatter me, sir, but I would be delighted to come spend some more time in your classroom. For now, however,” she smiles at Mr. Knowles, then at Tommy, “I shall leave you to your own devices. We’ll catch up soon,” she pivots to nod at the teacher. Spinning back, she smiles at Tommy. “Enjoy class! Thank you, Thomas!”

He nods back at her. “Thank you, Anastasia.”

She smiles, shrugging playfully. “Any time!” Spinning, she trots out, gently closing the door behind her.

Thomas can’t help but grin, turning back to the classroom. He sees a few open desks, and one of the upperclassmen beckons him to sit at one of them. The bully from earlier seems to fade from existence as Thomas slides into his new perch for chemistry class. The one who hailed him over nods. “Full name privileges, huh? You must’ve done something right. Ana’s pretty protective over her name.”

Grin broadening, he shrugs. “I don’t know what, but I’m glad she’s happy.”

“She’s good people,” another chimed in. “And she has good judgment, so if she likes you, you must be good people, too. Welcome to the fold.”

“Thank you,” he smiles, nodding. With a quick look at the door, he sees her smiling at him, clutching her book giddily. When he nods at her, she nods back, then skips off down the hall.

Interview at Corporate, Inc.

“‘My greatest strengths are adaptability, communication, and technical comprehension. I can offer expertise specific to this field and look forward to helping find solutions as problems arise. I’m perfect for this position because I have the skills, experience, and drive to deliver results from day one.’ Whoot!”

She pumps her fists, jumping up and down from her power pose. “This is gonna be great. This is gonna go great! They’re gonna love me and hire me on the spot. We’re gonna jive so well someone’ll mistake us for BFFs. Yeah!” Tossing out one final power pose, she snags her blazer and tosses it about her shoulders, striding out the door.

Leaving her hotel, she joins the crowd on the sidewalk proper. Navigating down the block, her eager expression starts to fade as she weaves through the thick throngs of people. “Excuse me, pardon me, sorry about that…” After several minutes of fighting the reverse direction of the tide of fish, she ducks under the awning of a skyscraper, sighing herself into a smile as she looks up at the sign.

Corporate, Inc.

Nodding to herself, she steps toward the door, reaching out her hand and opening it to walk through. Sliding her hands down her blazer, she grins broadly as she slowly turns her gaze from left to right, taking in the scene. She breathes deeply as she notes the people-barren, flavor-bereft scene before her. She nods, thinking quietly aloud, “They probably save all the decor for their offices. They don’t want to put anyone off too quickly; that’d be bad for business. That’s it.” Again nodding reassurances to herself, she breathes deeply and marches on.

Reaching the security station, she waves a friendly greeting. “Hello, sir. How are you today?”

“Name,” he says without looking up from the camera feeds.

“Oh, haha, right. Why, I’m Jane Smith, here for my interview for the corporate department of Corporate, Inc.” She laughs quietly, leaning on the security station wall.

“Jane Smith.”

She smiles broadly. “That’s right. And you are?”

He flips through papers attached to a clipboard. On the third-to-top page, he strikes out her name. Her eyebrows jolt, jaw dropping. “Take the elevator to the eighty-seventh floor; take a right; sit in the chairs; wait to be called.”

Swallowing hard, she nods her receipt of the instructions. “Oh. Yes. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Uh…” She steps back from the security station, again waving, big smile plastered on her face. “Have a great day, sir.”

Quickly strolling through the lobby to the elevators, she holds her hands together at her waist. Upon reaching the elevators, she pushes a button, then rolls back on her heels to wait patiently. Eyes darting about, she sees nobody; nervously, she starts to rock back and forth, puckering her lips, then inverting them, and humming.

But she can’t place the tune she’s humming; it’s just there. After several minutes of repeating the same few measures of music, she slows her hum awkwardly, picking it apart to analyze it piece by piece. Swallowing the music entirely, she bites her lips together.

The elevator dings.

“Oh,” she reclaims a grin, climbing on board as the doors open, spinning around to face the front and pressing the button for the eighty-seventh floor.

Someone else joins her in the elevator car, pressing another floor’s button.

“Oh, hello.”

The new occupant turns to her, looks her up and down, then exits the car.

She visibly deflates as the elevator doors close.

Riding up in silence but for the quiet dinging of the floor announcements, she swallows hard, yanking herself back into her interview mentality. You got this. They’re gonna love you. Chin up, buckaroo; they’re lucky you’re here!

The elevator stops at floor fifty-three, doors opening. She peers out. Nobody. The entire floor looks empty. Not a good feeling. The doors close, and the ride continues. After what felt like forever of torturous silence, the elevator finally slows to a stop on the eighty-seventh floor.

With a determined huff, she steps out onto the floor, takes a right, and sits in an empty chair. Pulling on a friendly smile, she turns to the candidate next to her. “Hello.”

The candidate looks at her, then turns away.

“Okay then.” She sits, hands on her knees, back straight. After several minutes, she starts to rock back and forth slowly. Hi, I’m Jane Smith. It is so nice to meet you!Have I told you what I admire about Corporate, Incorporated yet? My greatest strengths are adaptability

They wait. Then she waits. Then her name is called, she pulls on her most winningest smile, and she goes in.

After about half an hour, she comes out, plodding to the elevator.

Face flat, she even finds blinking difficult and uneasy. She slowly punches the elevator button, then waits for the car silently. She doesn’t even pay attention to how long it takes to arrive. Stepping in, she finds herself elbow-to-elbow with several people, their only commonality being the direction which they are riding the elevator in. She taps the button for the main lobby, then shifts back toward the back of the car.

Then, it hits her.

She turns back toward the front, slowly pushing herself to stand in front of the buttons. Just as the elevator doors start to close, a big grin plasters itself on her face, and she flails, hitting numerous elevator buttons. As the other passengers in the car gasp and reach toward her, she giggles mercilessly, yet joyfully.

Trouble Chases

I walk the quietest walk down the vacant hallway, always thinking we should’ve better matched up our schedules as I make my way to Fiends of Flight. As the sole class we couldn’t agree on, perhaps our schedules never would have matched as long as I insisted on learning about pixies and faeries, sylphs and sprites and he “refuses to waste time on such beasts.” But they’re not beasts; they’re often as intelligent as we are, albeit with a little less willpower to control their impulses and abilities.

“Hey faerie-lover!”

My foot falters; I bump into the wall, catching myself with my fingertips to prop myself up, continuing forward rather than facing my pursuers. I’m not interested in whatever new taunts or tricks they’ve come up with this week; I just want to get where I’m going. Head down, I clutch my books tighter, plunging forward. It’s only another hundred meters to class; I can make it.

One of them appears in front of me, smirking wickedly.

I yank back, stutter-stepping to keep my balance. My hood falls back from my head as I twist in place, identifying how many of the gang are here and attempting to find an escape. Two, four, six… eight. This week, eight have come to see how much it will take me to explode, and only two of them dare stand within the blast radius.

When I try to mind my own business, trouble chases me down.

“Off to class, faerie-lover? Running a little… late,” he steps toward me, crossing his arms, “aren’t you? I heard Professer Pixiedust doesn’t appreciate tardiness.” He clicks his tongue at me. “Tsk, tsk. Perhaps you’ll be put on notice again? What a shame that would be.”

“That isn’t her name,” I growl.

“Look at you,” they start to circle around, even the distant six closing in. “Do I detect a hint of protectiveness in your voice? About a professor? Oooh, sounds like someone has a crush.” I grind my teeth. “Maybe you should ask her on a date. I wonder where pixies like to go to eat… Do they even eat?” He turns to his companions, chortling and sneering then turning back. “Probably not. You might have to stick with drinking pond scum.”

My eyes flicker up as I fight my breathing to stay steady.

“All those faerie-types like that kind of thing, right?” He nods, a vicious upturn to the corner of his lips. “That’s good. Well, good for you and all of your faerie-loving friends. That’s pretty much what you are, pond scum. Not even your dreadful old pal – what’s his name?” He turns to one of his friends who shrugs and shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter.” He turns back to me. “Not even that guy wants to hang around your kind.”

I close my eyes, focusing on my breathing.

“Nothing to say? Probably a good thing. You wouldn’t have anything intelligent to say, anyway, so why waste the energy? Better conserve it for when we start rationing again; your kind will be the last priority, you know. You might not even get rations after that incident last time with one of your little buddies trying to magick the whole lot of it off to a private stash. Thieves, the lot of you!”

My eyes bolt open, the flesh behind my ears flaming white.

A hand settles on my shoulder from behind. Instead of jumping to bite, I yank about quizzically. As the hand drops, I find, a hand-length away from me, a brunette with soft brown eyes spiked with jade. She grins gently at me. “Are you headed to class?” It takes hearing her voice for me to recognize her. Perhaps I’ve never looked at her before.

“Yes,” I nod, “Fiends of Flight. Class.”

“Of course, the transfer student here to save the day,” he jeers. “What a waste of time and space, the both of you. You and your fiendish friends should all just-“

“What did you say your name was again?”

I blink hard, facing her, seeing her. She grins, emanating hospitality, but my mind is still on the taunts of my pursuers. As I watch her, her eyes quickly pinch near-closed for a moment, then re-open as she twists her head. She knows. “Gabe. My,” I swallow hard, tugging my books closer to my chest, “my name’s Gabe.”

Her grin grows warmly. “Nice to meet you, Gabe,” she extends her right hand, “I’m Dezzy.”

As I focus on her hand, she holds it there kindly, and my pursuers seem to loose their luster. Cautiously, I reach for her hand; as my hand gets closer to hers, a member of the outer circle fades to non-existence. As I take her hand, another quickly disappears. As I shake her hand, yet another vanishes. “Nice to meet you, too.” Another evaporates.

“Head demons?”

I try to take my hand back, but she holds it firmly. I look at her hand gripping mine which is twice the size. Again, I tug, but she doesn’t falter, doesn’t even seem to notice that I yank. Unlike normal situations where I might become frustrated and even angry, I simply marvel at the audacity of such a small hand holding captive one such as mine. It takes guts to do something like that to someone like me.

“I used to get them,” she confesses. “There are more effective ways than running.”

I nod, moreso because I don’t want to disagree with someone with this much courage than that I actually know what she’s talking about. I don’t have head demons, I reason to myself, I have pursuers. Then I look up: there are only two left, and both of them look pretty paltry. My gaze meanders back to hers. “Right.”

She grins. “They’ll disappear altogether soon. For now, let’s get to class.”

“Right,” I nod, swinging back in the proper direction. She keeps hold of my hand, stepping with me and swinging it loopily as she goes. As we make our way to class, I look over and wonder who she is to dare to touch me at all, let alone without my permission. Dezzy. Her name is Dezzy. A grin starts to form on my face, funny though it probably looks on me.

As we near the classroom, she turns to me. “See you on the other side!”

She slips away from my hand, gliding to a back corner of the room with a single open desk. As I make my way toward the front of the classroom, to the only seats still vacant, I watch her dissipate.

Optimistic Air

Waiting for the large car bombing down the street to pass by flipping through her keys, she checks both ways as the vehicle hurtles by and crosses the street behind it. Swiftly approaching the house with a fresh coat of purple paint hiding the mildew and weakening structure, she holds onto her keyring only by the key she needed to enter. Yanking open the outer door, she sighs, knowingly catching the free-flying screen before it can crash into the house proper. With a gentle huff, she inserts the key, turning the knob and opening the door with it, adeptly clicking the lock back into place as she crosses the threshold. Stepping through the doorway, she steels herself and breathes deeply.

What is that… scent… hanging in the air? Something… fresh… something… new.

Cautiously closing the door behind her, she slowly paces up the stairs. Her shoes drag on the carpet as she ponders where the novel smell is coming from. It isn’t even spring yet, so even the outside air doesn’t carry that whiff of optimism this crusty house currently shares with her. As she climbs the stairs, the scent fades. Yet it catches her focus, lifting her heart, albeit leerily.

Good news has been beyond difficult to come by as of late. She spent extensive time knocking on all of the doors of opportunity she could find, yet the answers were few and far between, and the invitations never left the welcome mat. There were a handful of things arising from the strangest of places to tap on her shoulder from behind, but those tended to fall through as well, so she grew to look at such occurrences dubiously. Nothing comes easily any longer. At this point, even air is suspect.

Yet, she knew that something would come along and happen just the way it was meant to in just the time it was meant to happen. Her patience may be wearing thin, but she trusts that something will come of this struggle – if only she will allow herself to grow in it. Whether or not she grows is a decision for her to make, but the struggle will not cease simply because she refuses to grow with it. Rather, she cannot decide that the difficulties end, but she must decide whether and when to use them to her advantage.

Thou hast kept count of my tossings;
put thou my tears in thy bottle!
Are they not in thy book?

Psalm 56:8

There is a reason for every obstacle. Just as God permitted Job to be tested, so, too, may He put my feet to the fire to render my strength. She glances back down the staircase before turning to her own locked door. And sometimes God greets us with sweet scents to remind us we are not alone.

One Experience of the Mass

She stumbles in just as the little bells are rung in front, moving as quickly as she can while remaining silent but-for light footpatter. Rushing to the side of the pew, she genuflects just before the priest and altar server make it to the center aisle. Quickly unfastening her coat, she drops it to the seat, wincing as her phone thuds hard against the wood. A little noise, truly, and still before the opening prayer…

“In the name of the Father, and of the the Son, and of the Holy Spirit…”

Nodding as she joins the, “Amen,” she can’t help but grin: technically, she was on time, and this church is starting to feel like home. The loud woman in front, the super-pious people in the rear, the man who knows the logistics of the day-to-day operations on one side adjacent the main aisle, the woman who knows the entire history of the parish on the other side and near the side aisle, the man who holds the door for everyone sitting in the rearmost seat… Despite this not being “her” church, she knows the daily attendees, misses them when they aren’t there, and simply feels as though she could belong here. For the first time in a long time, she feels at home.

Sitting for the reading, she picks up the missal, deftly flipping to the proper page to follow along. She still struggles with pacing her reading to match that of the lector, but having the words in front of her helps her to focus on them anyway. At least she can read and re-read the passage with the background of having it read to her; that’s better than piecing together the day’s agenda because the verbal words aren’t in and of themselves sufficient regardless of the skill of the reader.

The psalm is read. She matches the cadence, but the loud woman is also the fast woman who refuses to pause for the commas. Smiling both in acquiescence and loving annoyance, she draws herself nearer the pacing of the loudest, fastest responder. She can’t quite bring herself to match it as it doesn’t make musical sense and thus grates against her instincts, but she struggles in the attempt. By the final repetition, it’s almost passable as matching. The other congregants are somewhere between the two versions.

Standing for the Gospel, she listens closely to the acclamation; the change of liturgical season also changed the tune, and she hadn’t heard the one at this church location yet. It was different than all of the ones she was used to, so she focused intently as the initial call was made, then responded quietly as she tried to mimic it. The first time was close; the second response was spot on.

As the priest reads the Gospel, she holds fast to the little book in her hand, trying to look at the priest while focusing on the words. Her non-book hand grips the pew in front of her tightly. Slowly, she raises the missal and glances at it, tracing the verses through to the end quickly, then moving her eyes back to the reader, holding a mental image of the words in front of her to follow along. “The Gospel of the Lord.”

“Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.”

They sit, and the priest starts explaining the message from the readings. Sitting on the edge of her seat, she drinks it all in. This is her favorite homilist: he speaks plainly and meaningfully, his words have real-world relevance, and she trusts what he says. This unassuming middle-aged man who likely wouldn’t recognize her had a penchant for enthralling her. She sometimes even grabbed her phone to take notes, either to write down a quote or to remember to look more into a topic later.

Concluding, he shuffles back to his seat on the other side of the dais. After sitting for a moment, he stands, and the congregation stands with him. More prayers, and calls-and-responses later, the people in the pews find themselves on their knees. The host is consecrated as the bells ring jubilantly, transforming into the Body of Christ as the priest lifts it high above the altar. Hiding her face, she grinds her teeth but can’t stem the trickle of tears as Heaven and Earth are joined during the transubstantiation. The chalice with the water and wine is consecrated as the bells again ring, changing into the Precious Blood.

Standing for more prayers, she wipes her tear ducts as subtly as she can. It gets her every time.

They kneel again for the presentation of the transubstantiated Jesus. She pinches her eyes closed, all too aware of her unworthiness, until…

“Behold, the Lamb of God. Behold Him who takes away the sins of the world…”

Her eyes fly to the Eucharist, unworthy yet unwilling to refuse the invitation to behold him. Just as quickly, when the prayer is finished, she removes her gaze. “Oh Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” The priest consumes the Body and Blood, then distributes it, first to the altar server, then to the congregation. She wipes her eyes again as she steps into line. One by one, each receives the Body of Christ then filters back to their kneelers for silent prayer.

As the priest finishes the distribution, he returns to the altar, cleanses the receptacles, puts everything in its proper place, and returns to his seat. He sits for a few moments, then he stands. Concluding the celebration with a closing prayer, the priest wishes everyone a good day. The congregation recites the Prayer of Saint Michael, the angel leading God’s armies in the fight against the Devil. The priest exits.

She closes her eyes for an extended blink. Her lips curl into a warm grin, and she nods, knowing that she is properly armed to face the day.

Further Investigation

The Veil Removed is a short film (5.5 minutes) on YouTube well worth the watch. (It says it’s about 7 minutes, but the last minute and a half are credits.) It shows us what is actually happening at Mass as the host becomes the Eucharist, enhancing the experience for any believer.

Dizzy Start

Alarm blaring, she reaches over and turns it off, quickly jumping to her feet.

Too quickly.

The world spins, and she grabs her bed for support. Closing her eyes, she shakes her head slowly. Not again. With a deep breath, she re-opens her eyes and stumbles cautiously forward, steadies herself, then continues. She prepares for the day with a gentler touch than yesterday.

Still, it’s worse than she thought: her head keeps swirling despite using every trick she’s come to learn over the years, and the dizziness is compounding the otherwise annoying issue. Mid-shower, she sits on the floor to calm the tides stirring in her head. A moment turns into a minute, one minute turns to several. Finally, as the water pumping out of the shower head starts to cool, she warily stands, rinsing off as swiftly as possible without worsening her condition. Turning off the water, she dries off, tugs on her robe, and makes her way back to her room.

The sun has started to rise, and the east-facing window greets her harshly, forcing her to stagger backwards. Blocking the rays of light with her hand, she ambles to the window and yanks the blackout curtain to properly cover the sunlight. She turns back to the dark room, eager to get on with day preparations only to find herself falling back into bed with the world twisting and spinning around her. Closing her eyes leaves the faded navy blue imprints to dance on her eyelids.

Just another hour, she tells herself. Maybe this episode will go away by then.

Sighing, she realizes she has to cancel a meeting; she can’t drive like this even if she were stubborn enough to try. She shoots off a text, brain too wonky to even time it to send later at a more appropriate time, and rolls over, tugging the blankets over her.

But sleep fails to come. First, she’s too cold, so she piles on the warmest of blankets from the end of her bed. Just as she starts to feel comfortable, she’s suddenly too hot. Tearing off all of the blankets does nothing to help, and the room feels stuffy and stale. Clambering out of bed, she opens both windows, eyes closed as she stands in them to catch a few snowflakes on her nose. Needing the fresh air but suddenly feeling weak, she crawls back into bed.

She tries to get some rest, but it refuses to visit her. So she pauses, turning her thoughts away from everything, even sleep, and rolling over as though to finalize that decision. She stares at the wall, then closes her eyes only to find the wall still before her, and asks God to talk through this silence. Her body continues to complain – it’s too hot, or it’s too cold, or it’s both too hot and too cold, or the sheet is crumpled, or the room is too dry, or the windows shouldn’t be open, or there isn’t enough fresh air. Still, she waits, not even knowing what she wants from her comforter.

Her phone buzzes; she resists the urge to reach for it. Several minutes pass, then it rings; she reaches over and silences it, then rubbing her face and wondering why that person would call her, especially at such an early hour. Another minute passes promptly followed by another phone call. Again, she reaches over and silences it, noticing it’s a different person that she’d been meaning to speak with. Not now, she closes her eyes, I’m not even sure I physically can speak right now. Besides, why all of this attention so early?

She glances at the clock. It slowly whirs into focus for a split second: 0938. She groans: her restful hour somehow turned into restless three. Worse yet, when she sits up, the world continues to spin, and now it also pulses, forcing her back to her pillow. Gratefulness overtakes her as she closes her eyes: at least today is a holiday; not all of the errands will get done, but at least she doesn’t have to explain this to her boss.

The thankfulness soothes her, quieting her nerves and allowing her to fall to slumber.

The Leaky Faucet

Drip… drip… drip…

The sound finally catching her attention, she pauses her work, listening to the slow and steady flow of water from the faucet fifty feet away. Sighing, she continues to pretend she can’t hear it, but now the act is in vain: as her determination to ignore the annoyance grows, so, too, does the sound grow in the back of her mind, lurking closer and closer to the forefront, a shadow on the wall rousing suspicion to delay progress.

Drip… drip… drip…

On a normal day, she wouldn’t even be able to hear it. The office is typically quite noisy with the hustle and bustle of work, but today, she was the only person in. As a transplant from the northeast, she could handle a few inches of snow without a problem, and some deadlines made her wary of taking the day off. Her coworkers, however, all took the day to stay safe instead of testing road conditions. All of them.

Drip… drip… drip…

When she blinks, she finds her eyes straying to the top of her cubicle, hovering there, unseeing yet fighting the remarkable urge to glare at the leaky piping. Decidedly continuing to type, she can’t manage to draw her eyes away from their perch until she needs to proofread the paragraph – at which point she discovers gibberish as the result of consistently typng one character to the left of where she thought she was typing. Her fists clinch.

Drip… drip… drip…

It was an eerie experience, having the enormous floor of the even more massive office building to herself. For all she knew, she was alone in the complex; there was no guard on duty this morning in the main lobby when she swiped in. She often preferred to be alone when working on individual tasks, but it was weird to have so much space to herself. Distractingly weird, as it were, and her thoughts meandered with the droplets from the kitchenette. Such quiet was still welcome after the rush of the busiest season of the year. The solitude was generally helpful as the only interruption she needed to tune out to focus on her work was the pinging of her email… and that obnoxious leak.

Drip… drip… drip…

Forcing a strong exhale, she stands, tugging her blazer flat and buttoning the bottom button. She cracks her neck, slides her chair back under her desk, takes a deep breath, and strolls toward the kitchen, pumping her arms and lifting her knees high as though marching. As she turns the corner to face her adversary, she reaches out, gripping the wall and swinging around the corner. Foe in sight, she nods, determined to fix the problem.

Drip… drip… drip…

An inanimate object would make a worthy opponent for the simple fact that it can’t die. So, too, wouldn’t that make it an enemy not worth defeating because it doesn’t feel the sting of defeat? The saying that the sweetness of victory depends on the comprehension of escaping a bitter loss seems to correlate somewhat with schadenfreude: if the adversary cannot feel the pain of defeat or savor the taste of triumph, is the conquest itself nearly as glorious as it could be?

Drip… drip… drip…

Cranking the knobs, she discovers the problem won’t be so easily solved. Opening the underbelly, she purses her lips and crawls underneath; she knows little or less about plumbing and she isn’t interested in mucking anything up. However, she still looks, hoping for something that will pop out at her, be it a physical sign or an epiphany. Finding nothing, she traces the pipes with her fingers, hoping they might provide some direction. They offer nothing.

Drip… drip… drip…

Who wanted a kitchen on every floor, anyway? What’s the point to having a de-centralized cafeteria system? Sure, it takes a few minutes off of coffee-fetching time, but how many cups of coffee does the average person drink each day, anyway? And the food would be substantially better if it didn’t all come from a vending machine; requiring employees to go off-site to purchase a halfway decent lunch certainly had to cut into productivity. Maybe the owners of the building thought professionals all packed lunch from home. A silly assumption, but perhaps they don’t know better, or they think too highly of professionals generally to be realistic about their everyday decision making. Who knows.

Drip… drip… drip…

Sighing, she closes the cabinets and leaves the kitchenette, heading back to her desk. As she yanks out her chair, she plops into it, gliding back to her desk and drawing up an email to the office building maintenance. Careful of the wording, she ruminates on a phrase as she brings up an online radio station to stream classical music – or perhaps some jazz – to occupy the part of her brain fixated on the sounds and lack thereof of the office. As she sends off the email, she notices one hit her inbox from her supervisor with the subject line CALL ME ASAP – BEFORE 2PM. Glancing at the clock, she notices the lack of margin for error: it reads 13:52.

Drip… drip… drip…

Everything happens for a reason, right? The leaky faucet caused a bit of a commotion – departing from the cubicle to try to amend the issue then returning to request professional help – and resulted in catching an email on time that otherwise would not have been seen until too late. It’s curious the way such things sometimes work: perturbing us to action, that action resulting in an unrelated save on the day. And often we don’t even feel the gratitude that we should for such happenstances, instead just hurrying along as though nothing even happened. Minute quasi-miraculous interventions happen every day, yet we often miss these graces given to us. Perhaps we might open our eyes a little more every day to appreciate the simple gifts granted us.

Drip…

Level Cleared

“Alpha team is clear! Bravo team, what’s your status?”

“… Clear.”

“Charlie team-“

“Clear.”

“Delta team.”

“Clear.”

“Echo -“

“Contact! Contact!”

“Move, move! You know the drill: one fireteam per squad stays vigilant in place, everyone else converge. Move!

Rapid fire covers the sounds of footpatter, brass clattering to the ground.

“Sitrep!”

“Delta team leader took a hit.”

“Delta?”

“Fast to respond, slow to check the corner.”

“Delta team, get your leader to a medic; Charlie team, cover us. Echo team, what else?”

Sweat drips from their helmets as the Echo leader pulls his head up to look at her. “Else?”

She literally bites her tongue to prevent lashing out. “How many? What armament? Are we looking at well-trained guerillas or are we trading fire with our own soldiers who got lost on the way to the rendezvous?” He blinks hard, eyes falling as he grips his rifle more firmly. “Think and talk, Scolnar! Time is of the essence!”

He stutters audibly, wiping his face as he wriggles where he stands. “Uhhh…”

She grits her teeth, glancing at her watch. “Charlie team – clear the room!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Use cans! We know someone’s in there.”

Three of Charlie team yank tear gas cans from their belts; the last one slumps slightly and puts it back with a soft whine as the others send their cans flying. Condensed air sprays out as the canisters sail into the adjacent room, clunking on the floor as all the soldiers hold up against the outside walls.

“Bravo team, lead us in!”

“Yes, ma’am! On me!”

“Alpha team, back ’em up!”

“Roger!”

Clearing the door, they take the room. A youth stands near the far wall, ankles and wrists crossed; he yawns.

“Time!”

The lights flicker on.

He smirks. “I told you this level wouldn’t acquiesce so quickly, chica.”

She sighs. “Depends on your definition, gringo,” she scowls, “but according to the language of the task, we did win.”

“Balderdash.”

“‘Isolate and neutralize the threat.’ We had you down to the room, gassed the room, and all but had you in cuffs. You were dead to rights, sitting on your laurels at the window; doubly so given in a real life scenario a sniper would’ve taken you out.”

“You know the rules, chica.”

“Stop calling me that. And yes, I do know the rules, and unless you were hiding a suicide bomb, we won.”

“But you don’t know that I wasn’t, do you?”

“Actually,” she raises her eyebrows, “we do, because we did a scan before breaching the house; no dice. Also, no vest and no apparent trigger, so, yeah. Thanks for playin’, but either up your game or accept defeat.”

“Let’s let the judges decide.”

“Always. They have the script.”

Stripping off their gear, they remove the magazines, clear the blanks out of the chambers, and set the rifles down in the recently-reappeared container, meandering away to make room for others.

The speaker system blares on. “Sorry,” the older female voice echoes in the chamber, “we believe the foe intended to have a bomb challenge at the end, but it isn’t explicit in the script, and the terms for victory were technically met. Therefore, we render our decision thusly: the clearing company won the bout. Now,” she chirps more sternly, “off to dinner, all of you. You’ve been running simulations all day; at least pause for some nourishment, and preferably for some sleep as well.”

Gritting his teeth, he shakes his head to loosen his tension. Then he looks up, offering her his hand. “Well done.”

She grins weakly back. “Thanks,” she shakes his hand, “we have a great team.”

“Mmm,” he nods. Releasing their grips, they walk toward the exit together. “My team is still better.”

“Hah!” She laughs aloud, shaking her head. “Compare the datasets from our respective runs. We did better across the board.”

“Yes, while I was away.”

“Oh, balderdash. You’re good, but not spectacular. Your team was better without you,” she smiles playfully.

“We’ll show you up tomorrow, don’t you worry.”

“I’m not worried.”

Team Trestle

Arriving early, she checks the clock, reaching to the passenger seat and hauling the first bag over her head, looping the shoulder sling about her. Opening the door, she snags the other bag, stepping out to hang it off of her other shoulder, and leaning in to grab the final bag. Locking the door, she steps out and closes it, advancing toward the hall.

Am I early enough?

Yanking out her keys, she opens the door and starts to set up, placing the last bag here, the second bag there, wrangling her coat off from under the first bag, and taking that bag with her to the far side of the building. So much to do… She starts with the part she’s never done before; one of her team members is out tonight, so she’s taking this part over. This has to get done first to make sure it gets done. My part isn’t as crucial and can wait.

She runs hither and thither setting things up. It isn’t until the first of her team walks in that she forgot one of the most time-consuming parts of the set-up. She blanches.

He catches her wince. Without missing a beat, he smiles. “What can I do?”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. What can I do?”

She explains the chair set-up and he runs right to it. As he embarks on his quest, another team member walks in. “Let me help with that,” he insists, nodding a greeting to her as he rushes by. Within a few minutes, others are assisting as well, fetching this or moving that. What would have taken her almost an hour was completed within fifteen minutes, and everyone is ready to start the event on time.

The event begins. Again, they hit a hitch – a technical glitch.

Three jump up immediately, one going to the tech, one notifying the temporary techmaster, and one glancing between the two to see if either party needed help. Problem solved in under a minute.

Whew.

At the end of the night, she gives up trying to corral the troops for the close-out meeting and started on various tasks. One by one, the team members see what she was doing and quietly follow suit, putting this here and that there until the entire place was in order. Peering out from her weary eyes, she finds the team gathered and ready for the final meeting of the night.

Ready. That is the grandest oddity: this was the first time the entire group was ready for any of their meetings. It had been wearing her thin that getting everyone together was like herding cats: it’s fairly easy to get one, but as soon as another enters the vicinity, they both leave, turning up their noses at having to share attention. Tonight, these two meetings of respectful congregation shocked her into a stutter; she quickly regains composure, carrying through the meeting and sending everyone off.

There is one last thing she has to do… Ugh, I don’t want to bother to ask someone to stay with me! The policy was that nobody was the last person to leave: if you were going to be the last person, someone else stays with you to make sure you’re both safe. Although she understood the policy, she simultaneously thought it was a waste of someone else’s time to bother waiting for her. Typically, the person she was covering for tonight would also be staying this late with her, so they’d walk out together, neither really waiting on the other. Nobody’s gonna jump me on the way to my car…

When she looks up from shoving a book into her bag, one of her team members smiled at her. “I’m gonna walk you to your car,” he announces happily.

She chuckles. “You don’t have to do that,” she assures him. “I’m sure you’re tired and ready to get home to your wife.”

“Mmm, my wife wouldn’t like the idea of me not walking a young woman to her car this late at night. No ma’am. We could be the safest city in the state, the country, the world, and it wouldn’t matter. No, no. It’s polite to walk a lady to her vehicle late at night.”

Smiling, she nods her acquiescence. “Thank you.”

Quickly finishing her final task, she tosses on her coat. Chipper as ever, he walks her to her car on the far side of the parking lot through the blisteringly cold wind chill. “I just want to make sure the engine turns over.”

She smiles; opening the door, she inserts the key and turns. “My car never fails me.”

“You never know!” He calls to her as he walks away. “Have a great night!”

Silently, she sits in the car, turning her lights on and watching to make sure that he, too, gets in his car. With a grin, she pops her foot on the brake and shifts into drive. Good night, she thinks. “Good night indeed.”

Torn

Racing down the hall, she nearly plows into her best friend, shoes leaving squeal marks during her stop. She waves a paper and envelope in front of his face, closing his locker to get there. He takes a step back, scowling. “What’s that for?”

She beams. “I got in.”

His face drops, then he blinks. “Wait, what? They already got back to you?”

“Yes! Tychus, I got in!” She jumps up and down, eyes tight with glee, whinying with delight.

He hides a disheartened sigh in the commotion, yanking on a supportive face and smiling, trying to hide the pain. He nods, forcing himself to focus on the happy parts of the news instead of the part that tells him he’ll soon be without his friend. “Congrats, Marie; I’m happy for you.”

Clutching the letter tight to her chest, she shakes with delight. “Thank you! I knew you’d share my joy with me. Victory wouldn’t taste nearly as sweet without you.”

With a scoff, he raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, I bet.”

Breathing deeply, she re-opens her eyes. Her smile fades. “Tychus? What’s wrong?”

Always paying attention… “The irony of that statement hit me just right. Don’t mind me.”

“Irony?” She blinks repeatedly. “Tychus, what are you talking about?”

“Nothing; never mind. Just,” he grins firmly for her, turning to face her as he shoulders his backpack. “Just, congratulations… and don’t forget about the little people.” He starts down the hallway.

Her face contorts; she follows him. “What an odd thing to say. Should I already be working on my closing night speech?”

“What?”

“I get the distinct feeling we’re not talking about the same thing.”

He pauses, turning to her, eyebrow cocked. “College?”

She laughs aloud. “No, the spring musical! I did well in the callbacks and got a role!” Shaking her head, she balks. “I just sent in my top tier applications last week; I doubt the schools even know I exist yet. Is that what you’re worried about, Tychus? It’s only autumn! We have the rest of the year to figure out next year.”

“Says the one getting into the Ivies.”

“Pffft,” she waves him off. “I didn’t even apply to any of those schools, much to my mother’s chagrin.”

“See,” he raises his palm, “who even uses the word ‘chagrin’ while talking to friends?”

“Uhm, I do,” she points out, “and you do, and anyone who likes fun words does. Are you seriously upset about my using the fun words in my vocabulary?”

“Nobody uses ‘fun’ words but you, Marie.” He raises his arms and then drops them, turning to continue down the hallway.

Her brows furrow and she shakes her head. “That’s not true. Plenty of people do – including you.” As he starts, she follows him. “Tychus, what’s going on? Did you not get your applications out? There’s still time. Can I help?”

He tosses a hand in her face, pausing them both. “No. Drop it.”

“Drop what?”

He grinds his teeth, looking away.

“Why are we trying to cross a river when we don’t even know if that’s the right direction yet? Talk to me, Tychus.”

Exhaling hard, he turns back to her. “This is our last year together.” She opens her mouth, but quickly closes it, forcing herself to let him say his piece, his whole piece. “We both know we’re not going to the same school. Maybe we’ll send each other Christmas cards, but we won’t see each other after graduation. I’d like to just enjoy the time we have together before letting the inevitable come between us.”

She waits patiently, but he’s done. Clearing her throat quietly, she bites her cheek. “I’d like to start my speech by pointing out that I better get to see you each Christmas ’cause we’ll both be here regardless of where we end up.” He rolls his eyes, but a smile creases his face. “I need to mention that it isn’t necessarily inevitable, but even if it ends up happening, that won’t be the end of us. It can’t be. I’ll still need you, Tychus, whether I end up in Boston or Cambridge, Seattle or Beijing.”

His head whips around. “Did you really apply to schools in Beijing?”

She grins. “I applied all over. The point is that geography isn’t the point: we’ve got all sorts of tech to stay connected, so while it won’t be the same, it won’t be signing the death certificate of our friendship, either.”

He nods. “You should’ve applied to Oxford.”

“I considered it, but I know that I love Cambridge from my summer there, and I don’t know that I could make a trip to test out the aura of Oxford. Besides, I think I’d generally prefer to stay Stateside but do a semester abroad; my Cambridge application was more an ode to the wistful past than an honest belief that I could even get in.”

“Where else did you apply?”

She eyes him, careful to note the slight tilt of his head to his left side, the one slightly-dropped eyebrow, the tense shoulders. “Not now; we can talk about it after class, maybe while you’re deciding where you’re applying to so we can end up at the same school.”

“Not likely.”

“True; most schools are unlikely to take two awesome candidates from the same school. We’ll need to devise a plot where one of us graduates somewhere else before we can hope for that plan to work.”

“You,” he nods, “are insane.”

“We should be able to end up in the same city even if you don’t want to take such drastic measures,” she assures him, chin held high as she leads the way to the classroom. “In the time we have after your applications go out, we’ll need to work on my acceptance speech for the Grammy Awards.”

He laughs. “You’re acting in a school play; I doubt there’ll be talent scouts here.”

“Unless we apply to a music school and invite them to our performance!”

‘Our performance?’ Marie, I didn’t even try out for the production. I’m not going to be in it.”

“We shall see about that. But first,” she lifts her eyes to the door in front of them, “well, I suppose first is class. But second!” She smiles as he laughs at her antics. “Second is we make sure you’re putting your name in for the schools you’re interested in. Once that’s done, then we can work on the school play. Savvy?”

Smirking, he shakes his head at the floor. “There’s just no dimming your optimism, is there?”

“Nope.” He laughs, and she smiles. “Instead, let’s get the work party started so we get where we want to be.”

He nods, turning toward the door and reaching for the handle. “I hear that.”

“Tychus.”

He pauses, turning to her.

She smiles. “Thank you. We’ll make it through this.”

He smiles back, opening the door for her. “We always do.”