The only difference between fear and excitement is your attitude about it.
– Paraphrased from Peter McWilliams
I don’t entirely agree, but I must admit that this new adventure that I’m kicking off has me riddled with both fear and excitement.
I’m excited to move into the place I found. I’m excited that I found a place that both fits me and that I am happy to invite others into. I’m excited that I am moving to an amazing new city with so much to explore and a natural attraction nearby to incentivize friends to come visit. I’m excited that I will have a regular job with a regular income. I’m excited at the new challenges my new job will inevitably send my way. I’m excited about the team I’ll be joining. I’m excited at the now-blossoming friendship in my new city. I’m excited at the opportunity to build new relationships with people I am excited to meet. I’m excited to finally be moving on from a seemingly stagnant part of my life.
I fear I won’t make the cut at my new job. I fear that I’ll mess things up with the place I found. I fear that I missed something crucial in my planning, so my execution will fall through. I fear that I won’t know what to do with the space at my new place. I fear that I might lose touch with amazing people. I fear that moving across state lines during a pandemic will result in my being drawn and quartered in the town square. I fear that I’m not listening closely enough to what God wants me to do. Even moreso, I fear that moving to this new city will severely limit my access to the Mass and the Most Blessed Sacrament, and I fear that without a regular dose of Christ in the Eucharist that I will fail miserably at everything life throws my way.
Life is interesting. These days, I feel both excited and fearful consistently. How do we handle fear and excitement?
I often get jittery and feel compelled to do stuff. All sorts of stuff. Sometimes it’s hands-on stuff, sometimes it’s exercising-type stuff, and sometimes it’s just a lot of tiny tasks that take way more time than they fairly should. All sorts of stuff that sometimes isn’t very necessary to do at all. In my case, how I manage both is very similar.
My emotions make it even more necessary for me to write up a daily to-do list. I read somewhere that to-do lists aren’t actually helpful; the proper way to organize one’s time is to calendar specifically when each task is to be done. That would be great if I knew how long each task would take; I can’t even gauge how long I’ll be on the phone with my bank to ask a seemingly simple question let alone estimate how long a wonky work project is going to take. Instead, I’m writing a to-do list to prioritize my tasks so I can get the most time-sensitive, important, and daunting ones done first. Starting my day writing up a task list helps to keep me focused.
I’m also taking a few extra seconds in prayer. It doesn’t seem like much, but just making space at the end of rote prayers to talk to God, to tell God that I appreciate all that He is doing for me, and to praise Him really brightens my day and gives me strength to keep going. God honors my little moments. Sometimes He honors them so immediately that I am drawn closer to Him for longer than I originally intended because I would rather spend time with Him than with the world.
When I can’t seem to focus on the big stuff, I just put one foot in front of the other and sift through the pile of little stuff. It needs to get dealt with eventually, so it may as well be while it’s preventing me from getting the big stuff done.
What do you think? Are fear and excitement two sides of the same coin? How do you manage these emotions so you can continue to take care of yourself and be productive?
