Two simple words (well, three depending on how you count the contraction), yet they can be so important.
One of the daily Mass celebrants wishes everyone a good day after the concluding rites. The congregation is split in the response between, “Thank you, Father,” and, “You, too, Father.” Not every priest says this at the end of Mass; as I think about it, he’s the only one whose Mass I recall recently attending who does. Somewhere along the line (probably in my childhood), I ended up with the latter response becoming habit.
First, a quick note: it isn’t simply rote when he says this. Yes, I suspect it is habit, but the way his face fondly lights up as he makes eye contact with us when he says it tells me that he means it, sincerely. It’s adorably heartwarming how much he truly wishes us to have a good day.
Second, I noticed the alternative response (“Thank you”) only recently. I don’t know if I simply haven’t been listening to the people around me, if nobody in the church I learned my response deviated from the one I knew, or some combination of the two. Given that I have noticed the consistency of the dual responses over the past week, I’m inclined to think it’s a combination of factors.
Third, and the highlight tonight: how often do I reply with a heartfelt “thank you?“
Not very often.
I’m well-practiced at the art of saying thank you when it’s warranted and slipping in a thank you when appropriate, but how often do I pause to express deep gratitude? How often do I feel true gratitude? Am I pausing to appreciate the gifts God gives me on a daily basis? Am I thanking Him for His gifts? If so, great! If not, why not? I find that I am appreciative of numerous random things, but I don’t often speak that thankfulness. I have been working on that, but I know there is still room to grow. There is another point that I noticed today is probably related.
I am cleaning some stuff out of my room, including getting rid of the things I don’t need. The first item went today: a jewelry box I posted on Freecycle. (That was fast.) The recipient arrived to pick it up, a warm smile on his face, and he said, “Thank you.” For the first time in recent times, I offered a sincere, “You’re welcome.” It felt full and real and true. I was so glad we connected, and I was so glad that I could give him that jewelry box. That’s the only way I know how to explain it.
There are plenty of occurrences when people thank me for something. That’s not the source of my lack of, “You’re welcome”s – my response is. When someone thanks me for anything, I brush it off with some sort of euphemism to stand in for it. “It was nothing,” or, “Don’t worry about it,” or, “Of course,” are my responses of choice. None of these are the same, even though they make for adequate social substitutes.
For me, these responses downplay whatever I offered the other person, sometimes to the point of self-deprecation hidden behind them. My responses show I don’t think highly of my contribution because regardless of how well done it was, it could have been done better. This is always the case, even if I squeezed out my very best product: I could have done better. In effect, it sometimes turns the response into an apology for not contributing something more worthy, even though the recipient may love the offering precisely as it is.
But that’s not the point. The point is not that something more perfect could have been given, the point is that I offered something of myself for the benefit of another. When I offer my time, talent, and treasure out of a place of joy and love, it’s something to celebrate – even though it’s not perfect. We give of ourselves not because what we have is perfect, but because He will make our offerings perfect and use them to draw us closer to Him.
So this is something I will be working on, the gratitude-recognition dynamic. With an eye toward Lent, I think it’s even more imperative that we think about showing appreciation for that which is done for us as well as recognize the value of what we offer others, the worth and dignity of ourselves. What better way to celebrate what Jesus did for us on the Cross than to look for what He sees in us?
Thank you for taking the time to read this post; I hope it was enlightening. You are welcome for this post; I hope it inspires you to love yourself and others more fully.
